Speed trials

The first of three tests is over. Yesterday morning I wrote the exam in personal taxation, a puzzling morass of tricks and traps. There was a ridiculous question on there involving the inheritance tax consequences of a trust beneficiary granting his son a tenancy of agricultural land. What is the relevance of that to modern life?? Damn farmers and their damn wheat and chaff...

(apologies to any farmers - I really like you - thanks for growing food!)

As is the way with exams, I was writing with blinding speed for 3 hours, the minutes falling away faster than the hairs on my head. My right hand is engorged and wants no more of this. Though I have great sympathy for my hand, I must move on to preparing for the next two trials, where I expect to fare better.

But enough about school rubbish. A few weeks of studying would be boring indeed if one did not throw in a half-iron triathlon along the way!

Last Sunday I competed in the Gatorade "Big Half" Triathlon at Trentham Gardens, Staffordshire. The only reason I had time to train for such an event is that I was focusing solely on cycling -- a group of us from the triathlon club decided to try a relay! You see, about 6 weeks ago I was lamenting the fact that my injury was preventing me from doing any running, and I suggested (half joking) that it would be fun to put in a relay team at a longer event, with me doing any part except the running. Someone mentioned that the "Big Half" traditionally had a decent turnout in its relay division (2km swim, 90km bike, 20km run). It turned out that Nick, who is a very fast runner, was itching to do a half-marathon in early summer, and James, who is preparing for Ironman Switzerland in mid-July, was keen to get some more open water racing practice. Throw in a geek with an aero bike and a busted ass, and you've got a team! I didn't really expect it to come together (you figure someone will bail because of money, under-training, or general apathy), but indeed it did!

Fast forward to June 26 and we're waking up to the yelp of the rooster at James' parents' farmhouse/mansion in Macclesfield, a beautiful area southeast of Manchester on the shoulders of the Peak District. Nick was up instantly, drinking water and getting prepared (he is so intense about racing it makes me feel like a slacker, which is saying something). The race site was 40 minutes away at Trentham Gardens, a recently renovated park boasting England's "largest Italian Garden" (do the English care?), a nice shallow lake, and a frickin' cool statue of Perseus watching over the mortals below. The weather was so beautiful that I was actually happy to be awake with the morning sun.

The lake at Trentham

None of us had ever done a relay triathlon, but I must say it was fun having teammates to cheer for. James blasted off at 7:03am with the crowd of 300 racers and we soon lost sight of him amid the churning mass. I watched a bit then went up to my bike to await his arrival. He's about my speed in swimming, so I expected the 2km to take him 38-40 minutes. But no! He was done in just under 37 minutes, after which he had to endure a 500m jog past the mighty gaze of Perseus, along the Italian Gardens and up to the transition area. The wristband handoff was made and I was off like a shot. For some strange reason they included the first transition time in the swim split, so the time to this point was 38:57. Very respectable -- putting us in about 70th place overall. We weren't sure where we stood among the relay teams (yet).

Obviously, cycling in a 90km time trial is a different thing than completing a triathlon yourself. My hat goes off to those wet cyclists around me who were still trying to catch their breath after swimming over a mile and struggling to remove wetsuits. But did this mean I was slowing down? HA! I went quickly but tried to keep some kind of aerobic pace, knowing that I had almost 3 hours of cycling ahead of me. How long would it take? In the months leading up to this I had been doing long slow rides, fast hill repeats, interval training... blah blah. I still had no idea how long the 90km would take at full effort. The 100km ride I had done a few weeks before had taken 4 hours, but that had included some stopping, some sightseeing, and some struggling. If the training taught me one thing, it's the power of Twizzlers. They're tasty, they don't melt, they fit nicely in the back pocket of your jersey, and they supply instant fuel. I figured a pack of Twizzlers, a power bar, and three 500m bottles of sports drink would see me through the 90km without bonking, and I was correct.

The route consisted of 3 laps of a 30km course, mostly on a very smooth secondary highway with few hills and few cars. One odd thing about cycling in Britain (other than being on the left of the road) is going through all these roundabouts. The roundabouts are everywhere. They even made a children's movie called The Magic Roundabout. I am careful when negotiating these. One guy skidded and crashed when he attempted a roundabout at excessive speed. Not so magic, really. Anyway, I spent the first 30km trying to find a good pace and passing a fair number of folks. I was on the lookout for other relay racers (you could tell from the race numbers), but saw none. At the end of the first lap I was happy to see James and Nick, cheering me on and yelling something in Orcish about "4 minutes ... urghhar rumph". I guessed that meant I was 4 minutes behind someone ... or something. Time to this point was 52:30, faster than I had expected.

The second lap I was really, really savouring the Twizzlers and the Lucozade. I was humming along near some tall fellow on a Felt bike (no, the bike is not made of felt; it's a fancy brand), trying to stay out of the 10m draft zone lest I be disqualified. His disc wheel was making so much noise that I was glad to stay back. Did I mention that it was a beautiful day? The sun was shining, the cows were smiling, and I was happy to be cruising along this fast course. Second lap done at 1:41:00, again faster than expected. This time I understood Nick, who yelled out that I was 3 and 1/2 minutes down. Okay, so after 30km of hard riding I had only gained 30 seconds on this other relay person? It was time to kick it up. My legs were getting sore but I felt morally compelled to go faster than the triathletes around me, most of whom were spending the third lap eating extra power bars in preparation for the 20km run that awaited them. I spent the last 15km at a ridiculous level of exertion, hoping the years of Grouse Grind ascents would see me through. Somehow my final lap was a bit slower than the first two, bringing me to the end of the main route at just under 2:33:00. There was a long winding track up into the gardens and the transition area, where I found a jubilant Nick -- he claimed we were second in the relay group by less than 1 minute! Total cycle time: 2:35:11.

As I recovered, Nick charged off like a man on fire. He runs 10km races in 36 minutes and has done sub 1:25 half marathons, so he was expecting a lot from himself this day. As it turns out, the relay team in front was also armed with a total speed-demon of a runner. Nick ran a blistering 1:22:55 but it was not quite enough to win the division. Still, James and I were thrilled with the performance.

Our total time was 4:37:03, second in the relay division (by only two minutes) and 20th overall. A very satisfying effort all around. As for the athletes in front of us, it amazes me that the human body can go that fast. Unbelievable.

Now back to a sedentary life of studying. Happy Canada Day!!