Detox day four
In a way I'm surprised that I'm still living.
I am now in the fourth day of the Wild Rose "herbal detox" program, which consists of a cocktail of herbal medicaments and a diet conceived by masochistic cavedwellers in the Nepalese wasteland.
Actually, Wild Rose is a successful British Columbia company that produces lots of herbal supplements. Miss Muppet has done the Wild Rose program twice before and said that it made her feel much healthier when finished. I try to eat well and I am generally quite healthy, and I'm not that interested in the zen-buddhist, yoga-loving, deodorant-wary lifestyle of Commercial Drive. However, the fact remains that I rely on a lot of wheat, sugar, dairy and beer to prevent starvation on a daily basis. A big bowl of muesli cereal after swimming? You bet! A big turkey sandwich and a beer after cycling? Sure dude!! Apparently this food builds up all kinds of yeasty glue in your system. So... I figured that this Spring I would give this alleged detoxification program a try. Miss Muppet and I began it together on March 1. And really - I soon thought I was going to die.
The Wild Rose program is 12 days of a prehistoric diet, where you are forbidden to eat any wheat, flour, sugar, dairy (except butter), tropical fruits, alcohol, and all kinds of other stuff containing gluten, yeast, and that kind of crap. No pasta, pizza, sandwiches, muffins, bananas, croissants, powerbars, yogurts... and no cereal!! You have to rely on copious amounts of vegetables, beans, lean meats, brown rice, lentils, oatmeal, non-tropical fruits and water. You also take a bunch of herbal supplements ("laxaherb", anyone?) that supposedly promote toxin reduction. It is really, really hard to eat this way, avoiding all wheat and dairy. Nutmilk, do you do this on a regular basis? If so, you are amazing. I can handle soy milk, brown rice and chili, but rice cakes? Ick!
Anyway, by the end of the first day of this program (Tuesday) I was clearly going into wheat-withdrawal. The info from Wild Rose said that someone who hadn't done this before and who had "a lot of toxins built up" would experience minor flu-like symptoms. Well... by Tuesday night I was freezing, shaking, nauseous, aching all over. I had planned to swim that night but - no sir! I was shaking like a crack-junkie in a crackless world. I though that I must be getting a nasty flu, and that it happened to coincide with starting the program. That night I barely slept due to heartburn, headache, and aching limbs.
To my great surprise, I began to feel much better on Wednesday, and today I am feeling almost normal. It wasn't the flu, it's just that I was going cold turkey and suffering the consequences.
Who would've thought I was addicted to wheat?
I am now in the fourth day of the Wild Rose "herbal detox" program, which consists of a cocktail of herbal medicaments and a diet conceived by masochistic cavedwellers in the Nepalese wasteland.
Actually, Wild Rose is a successful British Columbia company that produces lots of herbal supplements. Miss Muppet has done the Wild Rose program twice before and said that it made her feel much healthier when finished. I try to eat well and I am generally quite healthy, and I'm not that interested in the zen-buddhist, yoga-loving, deodorant-wary lifestyle of Commercial Drive. However, the fact remains that I rely on a lot of wheat, sugar, dairy and beer to prevent starvation on a daily basis. A big bowl of muesli cereal after swimming? You bet! A big turkey sandwich and a beer after cycling? Sure dude!! Apparently this food builds up all kinds of yeasty glue in your system. So... I figured that this Spring I would give this alleged detoxification program a try. Miss Muppet and I began it together on March 1. And really - I soon thought I was going to die.
The Wild Rose program is 12 days of a prehistoric diet, where you are forbidden to eat any wheat, flour, sugar, dairy (except butter), tropical fruits, alcohol, and all kinds of other stuff containing gluten, yeast, and that kind of crap. No pasta, pizza, sandwiches, muffins, bananas, croissants, powerbars, yogurts... and no cereal!! You have to rely on copious amounts of vegetables, beans, lean meats, brown rice, lentils, oatmeal, non-tropical fruits and water. You also take a bunch of herbal supplements ("laxaherb", anyone?) that supposedly promote toxin reduction. It is really, really hard to eat this way, avoiding all wheat and dairy. Nutmilk, do you do this on a regular basis? If so, you are amazing. I can handle soy milk, brown rice and chili, but rice cakes? Ick!
Anyway, by the end of the first day of this program (Tuesday) I was clearly going into wheat-withdrawal. The info from Wild Rose said that someone who hadn't done this before and who had "a lot of toxins built up" would experience minor flu-like symptoms. Well... by Tuesday night I was freezing, shaking, nauseous, aching all over. I had planned to swim that night but - no sir! I was shaking like a crack-junkie in a crackless world. I though that I must be getting a nasty flu, and that it happened to coincide with starting the program. That night I barely slept due to heartburn, headache, and aching limbs.
To my great surprise, I began to feel much better on Wednesday, and today I am feeling almost normal. It wasn't the flu, it's just that I was going cold turkey and suffering the consequences.
Who would've thought I was addicted to wheat?
posted by Gned the Gnome @ 3:28 pm
3 Comments
3 Comments:
I hadn't pegged you as being in the alterna-medicine "Lakota Herb" set but I won't argue with results - so I'm interested to hear the final verdict on the detox. Could this sinister ritual be a key to sub-33 minute grinds? The heavens shudder!
Cut out all wheats and dairy products? That would be physically impossible for me. I eat a HUGE amount of both. Perhaps not coincidentally I've been gaining a bit of weight lately. I'm up to 150 from my usual 145. Good lord I am a Fat Bastard! Get me to the diet center!!
Detox during tri training? Seems somewhat counter-intuitive and energy-sapping.
BUT, if you miss your cereal, try making oatmeal and top with whole almonds, dried cranberries, a touch of maple syrup, cinnamon and a sliced banana. You can even add flax for extra fibre (and omega-3's).
That's my second breakfast after my morning swims, once I get to work.
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