The call of Grouse

2004 was my eighth year of regular journeys up the Mountain of Madness, known to the sedentary Maclean's readership as the "Grouse Grind". The Grynde is an event both physical and social -- no, the grinders don't talk much to each other as they huff and puff up the trail at maximum exertion, but the camaraderie is there, both before and after the climb. It is what makes the Grynde worth doing.

Last year the GVRD opened the Grynde rather early, sometime in mid-April. Gilman and Gned (known upon the Lonely Mountain as PAB and GTL) enjoyed a season-opening trek on 23 April 2004. Others heeded the call of Grouse soon after. I was pleased that the gates were opened to eager visitors early in the year, particularly since I was going to be in distant lands come September (normally a great month for grinding). I managed 16 ascents in 2004, not great but still a pleasing improvement on the wasted year of 2003. I regret not having more opportunities to supplicate before the Mountain God -- my tenuous faith was not sufficient to bring me into the 35 minute realm, and certainly not enough to gaze upon the blue pastures that hide beneath 35. A forgettable time of 36:40 was the most my legs could muster for the year.

As it is now late in April of 2005, my thoughts turn to the Lonely Mountain, so very far away. The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row. Nevertheless, I wondered if the gates were open. A quick check of the GVRD website reveals that, not only is the Grynde open for the season, it has been open since March 14!! An early opening is a thing to be cherished by any British Columbian. But what's this...? No 2005 updates of the Grouse Grynde lore? Surely Gilman, Snowy, Roggles or others have made some early ascents? Surely they have not forgotten the power of the Mountain, turning their guilty faces from the Truth?? It saddens me that such a great Canadian event can be neglected.

Still, I have not lost hope. The season is early by all accounts, and Snowy and Roggles have shown great promise by persevering in this month's stormy SunRun. I eagerly await the first Grynde Report of 2005, complete with with tales of backpack-wearing giants, boulder-hurling dwarves, and porkchop-eating hobbits!