It Still Lives

While we wait with bated breath for the dramatic account of the Kits Triathlon, the scribes of Grouse Mountain thought it best that they continue to record the lesser feats that occur upon the hillside. Saturday, June 10 saw a return to the mountain for two veteran grinders: Gned, celebrating the heroics of one week ago and feeling nimble; and Snowy, celebrating a 13 month anniversary of "not grinding" with a stunning return from retirement.

Gned's story was one of little (if any) interest. The Grouse enthusiasts and dilettantes have seen it all before. "When will we see something new from this guy?" they demand. Gned did confirm that completing the Grind after 15 minutes of light hackey-sacking is much easier than completing the Grind after 2 arduous hours of swimming and running. Sure, it's tiring, but the absence of near-blackouts, uncertain footing and piercing muscle cramps makes the whole experience much more tolerable. Gned's time was fine, but nothing to prompt a round of drinks at the summit.

The real story of this day was the return of Snowy, urged out of retirement (some say) by a persistent Gned. His last grind was on May 10, 2005, where he was edged slightly by GKarlsen and finished in just under 57 minutes. He was hoping for something similar today, but warned that things could "go badly" thanks to a lifestyle of too much cola, excessive piles of fries, precious few fruits and vegetables, and far too little exercise. Despite these claims, his hacking impressed the gathered crowds to such an extent that some were heard to place bets on Snowy "going 55".

Optimism was soon replaced with realism. Snowy left a still-stretching Gned at the base and trundled along, only to find that his legs had lost all feeling and form after 3 minutes. "What has become of me? Curse my metal body!" he moaned. As he reminded Gned later, golf was not a substitute for proper fitness. Gned passed Snowy in the rocky steeps near the one-quarter bridge, noting with concern that the ailing man looked even closer to death than usual. Long after Gned disappeared, Snowy continued to heave one foot above the other, stopping here and there to fight off bouts of dizzyness and to remind himself that he was a Grinder. A Grinder of ten years, no less! This is a man whose cumulative "time on mountain" exceeds four days, 9 hours. He is no quitter. With each step he bore the pain of 13 months of hard living, all the while suffering the humiliation of being asked "are you okay?" by folks both old and large. His time at the 3/4 mark exceeded his slowest total time ever. Yet he never despaired nor turned back! This grinder of legend fought on - a battle of spirit more than strength - and finished the grind as all God-fearing men and women should. His time of 1:12:09 will soon be forgotten, as he promises to return again soon.

Never surrender -- It's easy to sing but it's hard to do.


Times for June 10, 2006:

GTL 38:10
GPC 1:12:09